


one one eight

by jamb



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Drinking, F/F, Flirting, I won't be held accountable for my actions, Idiots in Love, M/M, also a lot thirsting, chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29163885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamb/pseuds/jamb
Summary: chim: so hen and i are in the parking lot and so upset we didn’t realize there wouldn’t actually be a fist fighteddie: IM NOT GOING TO HIT BUCK JESUSbuck: yeah eddie is like a little kitten that hisses at its own reflection and then comes to cuddle with you a second laterchim: hey bobby eddie is chasing buck around the firehouse with a squirt bottlebobby: Then tell them to stop, Chim.hen: No, we’re making popcorn. You’re the one who hired them, you can handle the lovebirds.chim: yeah bobby this is a YOU problembobby: I’m firing you all.(or the 118 chat fic no one asked for)
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Henrietta "Hen" Wilson/Karen Wilson, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 114
Kudos: 574





	1. black eyes and bullying

**Author's Note:**

> chat fics are my fave things to write so of course i had to do one for this dumb show. updates will be periodic and i am open to any and all formatting suggestions. i tried to make this look and read as good as possible so i hope you likey.
> 
> (also none of this is serious. there probably will be some more emo chapters here and there, but this is not meant to be taken seriously AT ALL)

_buck to eddie_

_thursday, 10:10 am_

**buck:** you know what is bullshit

**eddie:** your inability to use punctuation marks?

**buck:** eddie im reporting you to bobby for bullying

**eddie:** your autocorrect doesn’t even do anything anymore!!

**buck:** BULLYING

_one one eight_

_thursday, 10:16 am_

**buck:** bobby i need to report eddie

**eddie:** wow

**bobby:** We discussed this, Buck. You can’t report the others because they ate the last of your hot cheetos.

**chim:** 911? I just witnessed a murder.

**buck:** id like to also report chim

**buck:** the grounds: bullying

**hen:** You need to be bullied at least once a week. It’s 118 law. Keeps you humble.

**hen:** Also, do you three really not have auto-caps on? Are you teenagers?

**chim:** lowercase is more pleasing to the eye hen

**buck:** it’s about the aesthetic hen

**bobby:** You do know that this chat was made for work purposes, right?

**buck:** guys bobby doesnt love us

**hen:** This is homophobic, Bobby.

**chim:** yeah bobby this is homophobic

**eddie:** chim you’re not gay?

**chim:** at this point aren’t i just gay by association?

**buck:** like osmosis?

**eddie:** this is why we bully you.

_buck to eddie_

_thursday, 10:30 am_

**eddie:** okay but what was bullshit?

**buck:** huh?

**eddie:** earlier you said something was bullshit.

**buck:** OH

**buck:** it was because i got shampoo in my eye

**buck:** so i was saying eyes are bullshit because then i hit my temple looking for eye wash in the cabinet

**buck:** so im 100% going to have a black eye tomorrow

**eddie:** oh my GOD

**eddie:** how do you even get yourself into situations like this? do i need to come over and check you for a concussion?

**buck:** nah dude im good! im only seeing two of _some_ things. totally fine

**eddie:** EVAN BUCKLEY I SWEAR TO GOD

**buck:** IM KIDDING EDDIE IM FINE

**eddie:** nah-uh im coming over. i don’t trust you to not bleed out from a paper cut or something now.

**buck:** wow dad mode: activated

**eddie:** you’re not funny.

**buck:** excuse you im a delight

_one one eight_

_friday 9:25 am_

**bobby:** How did you get the black eye, Buck?

**buck:** fought off a guy who was trying to steal an old lady’s purse

**eddie:** he got shampoo in his eye and hit his head on a cabinet.

**chim:** now THAT sounds like buck

**hen:** Aw. I thought you finally beat Eddie in Street Fighter and he didn’t take it well :/

**eddie:** for fucks sake i would neVER HIT BUCK

**buck:** yeah cuz he knows id totally take him out

**eddie:** you literally yelled at me for trying to kill a spider yesterday. you couldn’t throw a punch if you tried. i could have you on the floor in seconds, man.

**buck:** oh yeah tough guy? fist fight in the parking lot, 10 minutes.

**chim:** (@hen they really don’t know what theyre doing do they)

**hen:** (God, no.)

**buck:** what

**eddie:** what

**bobby:** No fighting in my parking lot. Take it to a 7-11.

_9:35 am_

**chim:** so hen and i are in the parking lot and so upset we didn’t realize there wouldn’t actually be a fist fight

**eddie:** IM NOT GOING TO HIT BUCK JESUS

**buck:** yeah eddie is like a little kitten that hisses at its own reflection and then comes to cuddle with you a second later

**chim:** hey bobby eddie is chasing buck around the firehouse with a squirt bottle

**bobby:** Then tell them to stop, Chim.

**hen:** No, we’re making popcorn. You’re the one who hired them, you can handle the lovebirds.

**chim:** yeah bobby this is a YOU problem

**bobby:** I’m firing you all.


	2. drunk and drunker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eddie: og my god oh my god oh my god 
> 
> eddie: i’m going to have a breakdown
> 
> eddie: i am going to misbehave 
> 
> (or eddie and karen find a buzzfeed cocktail list and things get out of hand)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a quick update bc y'all were so nice with your comments and stuff that i wanted to treat you. 
> 
> from here on out im going to try and make chapters longer so fingers crossed for me lads

_two and a half braincells_

_saturday 10:00 am_

**buck:** hey do you guys want to come over tonight?

**buck:** karen and eddie found a buzzfeed list of cocktails they want to try so we’re probably going to need a babysitter

**maddie:** For you or the kids?

**buck:** lol bobby and athena have all the kids tonight no we’ll probably need at least one sober person and since youre preggers

**maddie:** 1: Do not ever call me preggers again.

**maddie:** 2\. And yeah, what time do you want us?

**chim:** and at what point should we separate you from eddie? after drink 4 or when you decide you should sit in his lap?

**buck:** like 6?

**buck:** fuck off chim

**maddie:** Oh, Chimney, drink 4 Buck is when he uses Eddie as a chair. Drink 6 Buck is when we have to pull the plug, he starts crying about Eddie’s arms.

**buck:** this is homophobic

**chim:** that’s hen’s thing you bitch

**maddie:** And you’re bi.

**buck:** this is biphobic

**buck:** and yes im still mad that the chat name implies that i only have half a brain cell

**chim:** finally bone eddie and you two could make up one WHOLE braincell

**buck:** i hate it here

_the lesbians + eddie_

_saturday 5:14 pm_

**karen:** okay, we have the stuff for drinks. we are on our way to get you.

**eddie:** thanks, karen.

**karen:** do we need to set some rules in advance?

**eddie:** ???

**karen:** like when to cut you off so you don’t try to climb buck like a tree in front of all our friends.

**eddie:** that was one time!!!!! and it was because i mixed beer and cocktails. do not let me mix.

**hen:** “One time,” says the guy who tackled Buck in the firehouse and dumped a water bottle on him.

**hen:** Also, we’re here.

**karen:** YOU DID WHAT?

**hen:** And Buck was wearing a white LAFD shirt. We all know what you were trying to do, Eddie.

**eddie:** i don’t know what you’re talking about. i can’t read english.

**hen:** Wow.

_two and a half braincells_

_saturday 7:45 pm_

**buck:** omfgg im not like fucking fully drunk yet

**buck:** but iw ant eddie to climb me like a tree

**buck:** ascend my body like a ladder

**maddie:** Please stop. I’m literally sitting right next to you.

**buck:** i f i use my mouth words he can HEAR ME MADS

**chim:** mouth words

**chim:** i hate you so mch

**chim:** mcu.

**chim:** much

**chim:** what drink am i fucking ON

**buck:** bro madde switched you to water 20 mins ago

**chim:** that’s NOT FAIR IVE HAD LESS THAN BLOOD THINNER BOY OVER THERE

**maddie:** Oh my god.

**buck:** its bc i have more muscle

**chim:** whaT THE FUCK

**chim:** arm wrestle. coffee table. now.

_the lesbians + eddie_

_saturday 7:51 pm_

**eddie:** og my god oh my god oh my god

**eddie:** i’m going to have a breakdown

**eddie:** i am going to misbehave

**karen:** breathe eddie.

**eddie:** ARM

**hen:** Yes, that certainly is Buck’s arm.

**hen:** The only reason Chim is going to win is because Buck is fucking _gone._

**eddie:** no hes not hes right in front of my eyes

**karen:** it’s time to cut you off bud.

**hen:** Shocker: Chim won.

**eddie:** he hit his hand im gonna g o kiss it beter

**hen:** EDDIE, NO

_buck to eddie_

_sunday 10:25 am_

**buck:** you didn’t spend the night : (

**buck:** also i think im dying

**eddie:** hen and karen kidnapped me. i literally woke up in a child’s bed, buck.

**eddie:** i can’t believe you lost an arm wrestling match to chim

**eddie:** for shame

**buck:** look i was very intoxicated

**eddie:** whatever you say, bud.

**eddie:** i’m going to go pick chris up from bobby’s. want me to swing by and get you too? we can mope and have shitty food for lunch.

**buck:** please

**buck:** youre my favorite

**eddie:** *you’re

**buck:** never mind i’m only friends with you for your kid


	3. plant buck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> buck: am i cute
> 
> chim: eh if ur into ken dolls sure
> 
> maddie: What is going on, Buck?
> 
> buck: im standing in the flower section at the store about to go to eddies
> 
> buck: he joked that i wasnt cute
> 
> buck: if i buy him flowers would i be cute
> 
> (or the one with plants and kittens)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do NOT get used to this update schedule. this one is longer because i have a midterm and hw over the next few days so there probs won't be another one for a bit. 
> 
> thank you for all your comments. even if i don't reply to every single one just know i love you and appreciate you and y'all are the reason i keep wanting to write this xxx

_eddie to buck_

_tuesday 4:12 pm_

**eddie:** BUCK!!!

**buck:** ….eddie?

**eddie:** nooooooooo!!!!! im not my dad!!!

**buck:** CHRIS??? how did you get your dad’s phone buddy?

**eddie:** he left it he went to go make snacks

**eddie:** he was texting someone called two lesbians + eddie

**buck:** oh boy. that’s hen and karen kid

**buck:** you should probably give your dad his phone back. its not nice to use other peoples things without permission

**eddie:** bu i missed you!!!! can you come over and help me with math

**buck:** im still at work but if its okay with your dad maybe i can come by when im off in a couple hours

**eddie:** oh my god. sorry, don’t know why i thought leaving my phone at the table with a kid who doesn’t want to do math was a good idea.

**buck:** lol its fine dude. shift is slow anyway

**buck:** are you actually helping with math or just saying things like 2 + 2 does indeed equal 4?

**eddie:** ha HA

**eddie:** i’ll have you know he’s doing long division and unlike you i have retained all math knowledge.

**buck:** youre using the calculator app on your phone aren’t you

**eddie:** fuck off

**eddie:** but, hey, if you’re not too beat after shift and stop by the store to get chicken broth and a lime, you can come over for chicken tortilla soup

**buck:** eddie diaz making the one dish hes good at?!?!? ill be there

**eddie:** you’re not cute

**eddie:** be safe

**eddie:** idiot

_two and a half braincells_

_tuesday 6:12 pm_

**buck:** am i cute

**chim:** eh if ur into ken dolls sure

**maddie:** What is going on, Buck?

**buck:** im standing in the flower section at the store about to go to eddies

**buck:** he joked that i wasnt cute

**buck:** if i buy him flowers would i be cute

**chim:** oh my god

**maddie:** And what would you tell him the reason for the flowers is? You’d have to confess.

**chim:** do it you won’t

**buck:** yeah no fuck that

**buck:** im getting him a plant

**buck:** itll teach him responsibility

**chim:** are u talking about eddie or chris

**buck:** yes

**maddie:** Wow.

_eddie to buck_

_friday 9:01 am_

**eddie:** day 3: plant is still alive

**buck:** you actually kept it?

**eddie:** …yeah? of course

**eddie:** chris wants to name it.

**buck:** love that kid. what are the contenders so far?

**eddie:** buck.

**buck:** yeah?

**eddie:** lmfao no, he wants to name it buck.

**buck:** i love him?? also please name it buck

**eddie:** like i have a choice in the matter.

**eddie:** idk how i’m going to keep this thing alive though

**eddie:** huh, just like my other buck. botany imitates life

**buck:** you’re the worst

_one one eight_

_monday 1:21 am_

**chim:** i don’t want to talk about it

**hen:** LIYBRSIUTGBBU

**hen:** I’m never going to be over this.

**buck:** do you remember the way he just riwtgubrwtubgu

**hen:** Please, don’t my stomach still hurts from laughing.

**eddie:** it was the way we couldn’t tell who was more scared that got me

**chim:** bobby surely this is workplace harassment

**bobby:** Sure. I’ll just need the video of the incident that I know Buck took and I can file a report.

**chim:** you took a VIDEO

**buck:** i was doing you a solid. a cute video of you rescuing a kitten from a tree for maddie

**buck:** its not my fault the kitten hissed and scared you right out of the tree

**eddie:** if you don’t send us the video plant buck gets it

**buck:** i waS JUST GOING TO CHILL

**buck:** leave buck out of this

**chim:** okay can we forget about me for a second to unpack THAT

**hen:** Absolutely. Plant Buck? Explain.

**buck:** what??? i got eddie and chris this little blant last week chris named it buck

**chim:** blant

**hen:** Blant

**eddie:** blant

**bobby:** Blants are good for kids. They teach responsibility.

**buck:** when did this turn into bullying buck time

**buck:** this is biphobic

**hen:** Stop stealing my thing, Buckley.

_one one eight_

_4:30 am_

**chim:** did i just hear a meow?

**buck:** are you having ptsd over a kitten rescue

**buck:** like i support you tho bro

**chim:** yes i have kitten rescue pt-shut UP BUCK

**chim:** I HEAR A CAT

**eddie:** i do too actually

**bobby:** Buck.

**buck:** pfffft you are all losing it

**buck:** i know you’re old but get an ear check amiright hen

**hen:** Hmmmm. It’s strange. We started hearing a cat after Buck came back from his “coffee run.”

**eddie:** bizarre how no one seems to have a coffee

**buck:** OKAY LOOK

**buck:** i told the animal control lady to call me after the little thing got checked for a chip

**buck:** it didn’t have one and they said there was no sign of it being taken care of.

**eddie:** oh buck

**buck:** HE HAD SO MANY FLEAS EDDIE IM OFF IN 20 MINUTES ITS FINE

**chim:** i can’t believe ur adopting a cat that almost killed me

**bobby:** It’s out of my firehouse as soon as your shift ends. Understood?

**buck:** of course!!!!! i think i already have a name

**hen:** Can I suggest Chim?

**chim:** ur bff status is revoked

**buck:** nah he’s super chill, has big brown eyes, and sometimes looks like he wants to slit my throat

**buck:** im naming him eddie obvs

**buck:** shit hen take the cat eddie’s bounding upstairs to kill me i gotta g o

_hen to chim_

_monday 3:00 pm_

**hen:** So after I got home and slept, I decided we need to get Buck and Eddie together.

**chim:** what gave u that idea

**chim:** eddie naming a plant after buck or buck naming his new demon cat eddie?

**hen:** Chris did the plant

**chim:** aw you really believe that

**Hen:** ….oh my god you’re right.

**chim:** i usually am

**chim:** so whats the plan

**hen:** I think we need more reinforcements first.

_hen created “operation: idiots in love”_

_hen added chim, maddie, karen to chat_

**maddie:** Oh God.

**hen:** Hello, everyone. I bet you wonder why I gathered you here today.


	4. operation: idiots in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> maddie: Oh God.
> 
> hen: Hello, everyone. I bet you wonder why I gathered you here today.
> 
> (or eddie and buck are in love and everyone is tired of it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate this chapter so much. i was not vibing with it so im yeeting into the void and moving on.
> 
> thank you again for your comments, they are everything uwu

_hen created “operation: idiots in love”_

_hen added chim, maddie, karen to chat_

**maddie:** Oh God.

**hen:** Hello, everyone. I bet you wonder why I gathered you here today.

**chim:** no bobby and athena?

**hen:** Oh my god, no, I’m not adding Buck’s pseudo-parents to a group chat about getting Buck and Eddie together.

**karen:** you really think we’ll be able to do anything to get those idiots together???

**chim:** they namED A CAT AND PLANT AFTER EACH OTHER WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING

**maddie:** Excuse me. They did what?

**hen:** Right! Buck got Eddie a plant and Eddie pretended that Chris named the plant Buck when it was really him.

**hen:** Then ya baby daddy got jumpscared by a kitten and Buck adopted it and named it Eddie.

**chim:** you could have left that part out hen jfc

**maddie:** There is video right?

**hen:** Of course.

**chim:** i already hate it here

**karen:** okay but how are we going to do this?

**hen:** I think we gotta start being a little mean about it. We need them to snap.

**maddie:** We already tease them quite a bit about it.

**chim:** tease them together

**chim:** we have our chats with them right???? well what if hen and i started laying it on thick in the 118 chat

**karen:** please never say laying it on thick in the same sentence as my wifes name ever again

**hen:** Okay, but that could work. Make ‘em flustered enough that someone slips.

**karen:** if this backfires i never had any part of it

**maddie:** Same.

_buck to eddie_

_friday 2:13 pm_

**buck:** so eddie got fixed and is feeling better does chris want to come meet him

**eddie:** i hate that. i hate that so much

**buck:** dude he’s so much like you it’s insane

**buck:** i was playing viddy games and he walked all over my controller and made me die

**buck:** remember when you were tipsy that one time and kept pressing all the buttons on my controller while i played overwatch???? bc i wasn’t paying attention to you

**eddie:** viddy games. comparing me to a cat? holding my tipsy actions against me?

**eddie:** is it too late to disown you?

**buck:** yes

**buck:** so are you gonna come over we can get pizza

**eddie:** fine but if chris ends up wanting a cat after this you’re dead to me

**buck:** such a sweet talker

_eddie to buck_

_friday 8:32 pm_

**eddie:** chris wants a cat

**eddie:** this is all your fault

**buck:** it is not my fault chris was won over by eddie

**buck:** it was bound to happen

**buck:** admit it, you loved him

**eddie:** he’s a kitten i think there’s something wrong with people who don’t like kittens

**buck:** god youre so right

**eddie:** *you’re

**buck:** STOP

_one one eight_

_monday 10:15 am_

**buck:** im going to crawl out of my skin

**eddie:** you’re not seriously having separation anxiety from your cat

**buck:** i am a brand new parent leave me alone

**hen:** I cannot believe you left a kitten alone in your apartment.

**chim:** that demon is going to wreck the place

**buck:** eddie is not a DEMON

**buck:** eddie tell him how cute my cat is

**eddie:** i would do anything in the world to make you change his name, but he is pretty cute.

**hen:** Anything, huh?

**hen:** You hear that, Chim?

**chim:** an·y·thing /ˈenēˌTHiNG/ _pronoun_. used to refer to a thing, no matter what

**eddie:** what the fuck is happening right now

**chim:** just wanted to make sure you knew what that word meant

**hen:** It’s a nice word. You know I would do anything for my wife.

**chim:** i would do Anything for maddie. i even ate her gross ass olive pizza

**buck:** bobby i think hen and chim are broken

**bobby:** Have you tried turning them on and off again?

**hen:** Wow.

_operation: idiots in love_

_monday 11:10 am_

**chim:** hen and i suck at this

**hen:** They just thought we were being weird.

**karen:** you are weird

**hen:** Wow.


	5. bingo cards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> buck: concept: 118 bingo cards  
> buck: thoughts?  
> buck: questions?  
> buck: comments? concerns?  
> chim: yeah question  
> chim: what the fuck
> 
> (the team make bingo cards)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a quick little update bc im neck deep in school work but i was in a good mood today so yeet. i had the idea of the 118 making bingo cards a while ago so i had to fit this in lmao. as always, thank you so much for the love on this. i see every single one <3

_one one eight_

_saturday 11:28 pm_

**buck:** concept: 118 bingo cards

**buck:** thoughts?

**buck:** questions?

**buck:** comments? concerns?

**chim:** yeah question

**chim:** what the fuck

**hen:** I was just falling asleep, Buckley.

**buck:** so was i and then eddie wouldn’t calm down unless i let him sleep on my chest

**chim:** RUBRIBEI WHAT

**hen:** EDDIE WHAT NOW?

**eddie:** you gotta change your cat’s name, man.

**chim:** right the fucking cat

**hen:** I woke Karen up for no reason wtf, Buck

**buck:** why would you need to wake her up

**hen:** UGH

**chim:** i was so relieved for two seconds hen

**hen:** Same.

**eddie:** i feel like i’ve been saying this a lot but

**eddie:** what the fuck is going on right now

**buck:** theyre old so they get weird at late hours

**hen:** Hey, Buck, I know where you live.

**bobby:** You know I do not leave my phone on vibrate at night just to be woken up by a group chat.

**chim:** shit dad’s here

**buck:** SCATTER

_sunday 10:30 am_

**chim:** okay but what was buck on about with the bingo cards

**buck:** OH

**buck:** so i was thinking

**eddie:** a dangerous thing

**buck:** STOP

**buck:** what if we made bingo cards?? like filled up all the boxes with things we think will happen in the station or on calls??? whoever wins gets out of chore duty for a week or something

**bobby:** Points for coming up with an elaborate way to get out of chores, Buck.

**buck:** thanks cap

**hen:** I’m down. Is the free space going to be “Buck and Eddie do that Eye thing” ???

**eddie:** eye thing?

**buck:** um???

**chim:** absolutely hen

**bobby:** Buck, you can bring the paper since it was your idea.

**buck:** again um???

**eddie:** what EYE THING?

_operation: idiots in love_

_monday 2:02 pm_

**chim:** okay how many buck/eddie spaces can hen and i get away with on these bingo cards

**maddie:** It is so cute that you guys are actually doing this.

**karen:** don’t forget the Eye thing

**chim:** that’s my free space

**hen:** Same.

**maddie:** “Buck and Eddie come into work together”

**karen:** “eddie finds an excuse to touch buck”

**chim:** Y E S

**hen:** “They get mistaken for a couple.”

**chim:** “they talk about chris”

**hen:** “Eddie thinks Buck is talking about him when he’s actually talking about his cat and gets pouty.”

**karen:** does he now?

**maddie:** I hate them.

**chim:** mood

_buck to eddie_

_monday 3:14 pm_

**buck:** i hate chim and hen’s bingo cards

**buck:** theyre using our friendship to win

**eddie:** two can play at that game

**eddie:** lets just put a bunch of shit _they_ do

**buck:** whisper while they restock the ambo

**eddie:** play a card game

**eddie:** hide my socks while i shower

**buck:** oh yeah no that ones absolutely me

**eddie:** …..

**eddie:** WHY

**buck:** how inconvenient and annoying do you find it

**eddie:** VERY

**buck:** that’s why

**eddie:** oh my GOD

**buck:** eddie we’re still going to work together to beat hen and chim right?

**buck:** eddie?

**Author's Note:**

> kenroczen.tumblr.com

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [118 + 126 = Chaos + fun](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29260599) by [Discount_Hawkeye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Discount_Hawkeye/pseuds/Discount_Hawkeye)




End file.
